


Highway to Hell

by Jospeh_Joaters, KakYoinked



Category: JoJo's Bizarre Adventures - Fandom
Genre: Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Hero! Caesar, Love Confessions, M/M, Makeout Session, Mentioned JonaDio, They're both disaster gays and I love them, Villain! Joseph, multigenerational Joestars, villain AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-29
Updated: 2019-08-29
Packaged: 2020-09-29 11:21:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20435165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jospeh_Joaters/pseuds/Jospeh_Joaters, https://archiveofourown.org/users/KakYoinked/pseuds/KakYoinked
Summary: Caesar throws a truck at Joseph because he's a disaster who doesn't know how to confess his love for Joseph.





	Highway to Hell

**Author's Note:**

> A villain AU inspired by a writing prompt because I don't know how to do things with creativity and all that. Anyways enjoy this you lil' shits

_Livin' easy, livin' free,_

Joseph hums along to the crackling stereo, tapping his artificial finger to the beat on the steering wheel with a consistent clacking. He can hear the faint grumbling coming from the backseat, but chooses to ignore it in favor of clacking his finger on the steering wheel louder and turning up the volume just a tick higher.

_Season ticket to a one way ride,_

"Shut up, old man," growls a voice from directly behind his seat.

"Hey," Joseph warns, "I'm 25. That's _young_! You know who's old? Jonathan. Go dump your angsty teen shit on him."

"He's 30?" Kakyoin asks more than says.

"_Old_."

Kakyoin sighs, and Joseph sees him shake his head in the rear view mirror. "Could you brief us one more time?"

"Yeah," Joseph clears his throat. "Jotaro, you go in through the entrance and stop time. Get everyone down and away from any emergency buttons. Kakyoin will shut down the security cameras from the car and give us a signal when he does. I'll take out the security guards at the back entrance and take their cards, then use them to gain access to the vaults. I'll grab as much money as I can in 5 minutes and bolt the hell out once our watches beep. Don't wanna run into anyone if we don't have to. Kakyoin, you'll stay in the car and ready to restart the cameras as soon as Jotaro and I are out of sight. Jotaro, make sure _nobody_ gets to their phones or the emergency buttons. If anyone tries, knock 'em down and out, but don't shoot if you don't have to."

Joseph knows Jotaro won't shoot; the past three times they've robbed a bank, Jotaro's left his gun unloaded on purpose, so he won't have to worry about him killing anyone by reflex.

Kakyoin and Jotaro nod and pull their masks on. Joseph follows suit, slipping on his purple, vine decorated mask.

_ I'm on the highway to hell,_

Joseph slows to a stop in an alleyway a few buildings away from the bank and turns the key, the car rumbling before going silent, the stereo suddenly cut off. Kakyoin takes Joseph's place as Joseph climbs out of the truck.

Jotaro clambers out of the truck, slipping off his moto jacket to reveal a tight platinum bodysuit speckled with stars at the collar and hips and fingerless gloves with gold studs. Joseph takes off his clothes; his suit is mainly white, with purple, thorny vines dangling down from the neck to his feet. He has a scarf thrown around his neck that he really just added for the convenience of having a weapon if need be (but mostly because he thought it looked cool).

Joseph throws Jotaro a handheld pistol and a silencer while grabbing the black bags from the trunk. He jogs over to Kakyoin, who's set up his laptop and screens in the front seat.

"Got everything covered?"

"All clear and ready when you are."

"Set your watches to a minute," Jotaro said, fiddling with his own watch. "Once it beeps, reset to 5 minutes and immediately start it. Start..._now_."

~~~

Joseph checks his watch as he shovels piles of money into the thick, black bag he has laying on the ground. _45 seconds left, we've got this_. A sound echoes from what sounded like the back entrance. The faint sound of footsteps tap along, closer and closer to the vault Joseph was in. Joseph freezes for a moment before whispering out an '_oh my gooodd'._

"_Dammit_, Zeppeli, I'm in the middle of something," he whispers to himself before hiding the bags behind the vault door. He climbs up to the top shelf and nestles in close to the wall as Caesar approaches the vault door. Holding his breath, Joseph stays as quiet and as still as possible when Caesar barges into the vault, clad in his own bodysuit. It was blue, with dashes of color here and there, and he had his signature headband wrapped around his head and _damn_, that ass is _tight_. His admiration for Caesar's gorgeous ass would _not_ get him caught, nope, not this time. He's got a mission to feed his family and get Jotaro a new car and he will _not_ fuck it up.

~~~

He fucked it up.

Alarms blare across the building and Joseph has long since abandoned one of the money bags, but he has the other one hauled over his shoulder because _he's not coming back with nothing_. He knows by now that Caesar's caught on and that he's probably right behind him and doesn't realize it yet, because if he had realized then he should be screami--

"_HERMIT PURPLE_!!!"

_Theeeere he is._

"Hey sweet cheeks!"

"_It's Acid Bubble and you know that_," he half-growls, half shouts at Joseph, and Joseph can hear the _tap tap tap_-ing of his feet as he sprints behind him. With a heave, Joseph throws open the back entrance, where the two security guards lay unconscious on the ground; he could never bring himself to kill them without reason. He sprints to the back alleys, legs thumping and chest heaving from the exertion. His mind is racing as fast as he is, desperately trying to figure out a plan to shake him off. He could use his super strength to shift over a car and block the way? _No, Caesar could easily jump over it, and it'd only slow him down and Caesar would catch up_. He could use his vines to get up the buildings? _That, that could work._

_But what then? I could swing around and flank him, but he's better at hand-to-hand than I am...he could pin me easily. Damn, he could ALWAYS pin me, I'd be down. He's gotta be a good kisser, and hell if he isn't good with his tongue--_

A force launches him forward, and he cries out in equal parts surprise and agony. He throws his arms out in front of him as he skids on the asphalt. The rough surface _shreds_ his forearms, and he can just barely see the pinkie finger of his prosthetic tear off as he struggles agaisnt the massive object still pressed against his back and head.

He finally slows to a stop, but the object is now crushing him against the road of the alleyway, rendering him motionless. He groans as pain courses through his arms and back and head and _shit_, he has to have gotten a concussion from that. What even is 'that'?

He took a moment to breathe in as deep as he could and observe his situation.

_Is that... is that a fucking truck???_

It is. It's a fucking truck. Caesar Anthonio Zeppeli yeeted an entire _truck_ at Joseph Joestar.

~At the Joestar mansion~

Jonathan sighs in exasperation. Dio gives him a Look, glancing up from his book.

"Care to share, _Jojo_?"

"...I have a feeling my brothers are doing something I would be disappointed in them for doing."

"What's new?"

Jonathan sighs once more, this time in acceptance with slight disappointment. Dio secures an arm around Jonathan, who buries himself deeper into the crook of his neck.

"That's fair."

~At the bank~

_Honestly_, Joseph reasoned to himself, _of all things. Caesar picked a truck. How much does he want me down? Does he...really hate me that much?_

The pain of being crushed and dragged across a road coupled with the oppressive feeling of betrayal cause his eyes to water and sting. He couldn't even find the strength to lift the truck enough to breathe normally at first, only able to turn himself around onto his back. He can see Caesar standing a few yards away from him, colors blurry and uncertain and upside down. Caesar takes a step forward, hand stretched out, and Joseph swears that, if he could see it, his face would be one of worry. He wonders for a moment.

**Shit, he's crying...is he okay? No, no, he can take it. I _know_ he can. But, really...**

Joseph blinks rapidly as he taps back out of Caesar's mind, welled up tears falling and clearing up his vision a bit. Looking around, Joseph surveys his surroundings for a way to turn the tables. If he can just put his hands on the truck...

With quick movements, his hands grip the bumper of the car, and vines reach up and wrap around it, lifting it and tossing it onto the left side of the road. He scrambles to his feet and jumps to the building on his right, vines wrapping around a fire escape and launching him upwards. A hiss escapes his mouth as the movements tug and pull at his back, and his head throbs with disorientation.

He decides that, for now, the best course of action is to fall back; he can't fight like this...and with Caesar looking shocked and confused, now would be a better time than any to escape. With that in mind, he climbed the fire escape and jumped to the roof, running along the side and finding out where he is. _Now to find Kakyoin and Jotaro..._

~A few days later~

Joseph walks into the small diner while pressing his fingers into his temples. He's had a major headache for the past 3 days; he most _definitely_ has a concussion. He still can't believe that Caesar would throw an entire truck at him and expect him to be able to take the beating without getting seriously injured. The fact that Caesar thought he _could_ was flattering in and of itself, but testing the theory was a dick move in his opinion.

He looks around the diner for Suzie-Q, because she asked a week or two if they could meet up, and he can't say no, by law. He spots her at a booth near the back. She's sitting with a man with blond hair and what looks like a blue jacket, chatting with him animatedly in Italian, waving her hands around. As Joseph approaches, Suzie spots him and waves him down. The man turns around, muscular arm thrown over the back of the booth, and Joseph's stomach drops.

_Why. Why today, of all days, does she let Caesar tag along?_

**Oh fuck me**, he can hear Caesar think. He must've accidentally tapped into his mind in his flustered state.

"Hi, Joseph! Sorry I forgot to tell you I invited Caesar as well. I hope you don't mind." _It's, like, illegal for me to say I _do_ mind, isn't it?_

"No, uh, not, not at all..."

He's suddenly hyper-aware of all the bruises on his minimally-covered back and his torn up, bandaged arms, and the cut on his bottom lip seems _much_ more prominent to him now than it did before.

Suzie-Q ushers him down to the booth, and he plops down into the seat opposite of Caesar. He purposefully is Not Looking at Caesar while he orders, only talking to Suzie-Q. Caesar, when Joseph manages a glance every so often, is also Not Looking at _him_.

Heat spreads across Joseph's cheeks when he realizes: he _cried_ in front of Caesar yesterday. Not only in front of him either--_because_ of him. That. Is kind of embarrassing. Kind of. Totally not like he wants to crawl in a hole and _die_ or anything. Totally. _God_, he can't believe he cried in front of _Caesar Zeppeli_. The person he's always neck-and-neck with. The person he really, _really_ likes. The person he low-key really wants to throw him down and have him 'til he begs for mercy _twice_.

Totally not embarrassing.

Well, from what it looks like, Caesar isn't doing much better, judging by the way he jerks and blushes every time they make eye contact. Guess seeing Joseph cry was just as mortifying for Caesar as it was to _be_ the one crying.

"So...what did you do over the weekend, Caesar?"

_Oh, this could be fun_, Joseph thinks, letting a little smirk poke through. He sneaks into Caesar's mind as soon as the words leave her mouth.

**Oh. Oh no. The fuck do I say? I stopped Joseph from robbing a bank and threw a truck at him???? I can't give him away like that...or me for that matter. Just say that I went to the bank. Yeah.**

"I went to the bank."

_**Nailed it.**_

Joseph snorts and turns away, but looks back to see the suspicious glare on Caesar morph into fear in the _best_ possible way. While looking Caesar straight in the eye, Joseph adds,

"And I got into a car accident."

Caesar's face turns three shades darker, and he covers his mouth while looking down. Joseph finds it incredibly endearing and turns his own light shade of pink. They've now both returned to Not Looking at each other, and Suzie-Q glances back and forth between them. Joseph sees a realization flash through her features, and she turns to him with a knowing look. With an all too innocent smile, Suzie-Q stands up.

"Well, I have to go run some errands, why don't you two continue without me? I'm sure you two boys will get along..._just_ fine." With a wave and a quick wink thrown at Joseph, Suzie-Q turns and slides away, dress fluttering behind her, leaving the hero and villain alone in a small diner with a basket of half-eaten french fries between them. Caesar glares at him, but the effect is moot, considering the blush still tinging his cheeks.

"You did the thing."

Joseph mimics the angelic expression that Suzie-Q wore not two seconds ago.

"What thing?"

Caesar hunches up his shoulders, and he buries his face in his hands.

"You know...the _thing_. Where you hack into my brain. That can't be legal."

**Like that ass...**

Joseph snickers into his palm, but his heart leaps into his throat at his thoughts. _Caesar thinks my ass should be illegal..._

"_You did it again!_" Caesar cries, jumping up and slamming his hands on the table. The people in the diner all jump (and a few yelp), all staring at Caesar in horror. Caesar grimaces and raises a hand in apology, meekly shuffling down into the seat, bare forearms resting on the table.

Joseph stares at Caesar; he really is attractive. His eyes trail across his sharp jawline, drift down his neck, and he imagines what his chest would feel like under Joseph's palms. He doesn't realize soon enough that Caesar has said something.

He whips his eyes up, only to see Caesar staring at him expectantly.

"W-hat?" His voice cracks in the middle, and he cringes internally. _God dammit, could you be any more obvious? _He catches Caesar glancing down for a moment, then smiling to himself, deviousness hinting at the edges.

Suddenly, Caesar stands up, throwing a $20 onto the table as a tip (because he's a generous mad lad), since, apparently, Suzie-Q already paid for the meal. He reminds himself to thank her when he sees her next.

"Well," Caesar says, adjusting his jacket and smoothing down his white jeans, "let's go."

"_Let's_? Do you have something in mind?

"Yeah. I want you to come with me."

Joseph eyes him: _what is this man up to_? Nevertheless, he stands up, dropping his own $20 on the table for the waitress who's currently serving other customers(because he is also a generous mad lad and can afford it because he' robbed two banks, even though the last attempt failed). He trails behind Caesar, fiddling with his scarf as he follows him out the door and into the busy streets.

Caesar leads Joseph into an isolated alley, tugging him into another branch of it by his prosthetic hand; nobody would ever come here unless they were doing some shady shit. Which makes Jospeh think that maybe he shouldn't be here with his rival, because it'd be very easy to kill Joseph and have absolutely no one know and _oh shit how would he even defend himself, he doesn't even have a knife with him--_

"I'm sorry."

_...what?_

"What?"

Caesar grumbles, scratching the back of his neck. "You heard me. I wasn't thinking straight when I...attacked you. Listen, what I'm getting at is--" Caesar slips off his jacket and tosses it on the ground. He takes off his headband and piles it onto his jacket and turns his head to the side, exposing his left cheek.

"You can punch me."

"...What?"

"Go--_geez_, are you deaf?"

"_No_, I--" Joseph sputters "--I _heard_ you, but..." Joseph busts out laughing, but stops as the action makes his vision sway and his head throb. "_That's_ your solution?"

Then again, punching Caesar for throwing an entire truck at him _does_ sound fairly appealing. Shaking his right hand a bit, Joseph raises his closed fist. Caesar closes his eyes, brow furrowed.

And just like that, Joseph punches him at about half strength. Even then, Caesar stumbles back, nearly falling over just from the sheer force of it.

_ Fuck_, _that felt good,_ Joseph thinks. It felt so good to be able to punch him after the shitshow at the bank. And, without thinking much about what he's doing, he punches him again, this time just above the jaw, with about the same strength as before. Caesar stumbles back again, nearly hitting the wall before catching himself and clutching his cheek.

"What the fuck, I meant _once_\--"

What happens next Joseph can only describe as the breaking of that last straw on the camel's back.

Joseph stalks towards him, grabbing his white shirt at the collar and pushing until he hears Caesar's back connect with the wall with a small 'thump'. He feels more than hears the air rush out of Caesar's lungs.

Unable to stop himself, he presses his lips to Caesar's.

Caesar stills for a moment, and Joseph thinks that he'll shove him off and run, but Caesar relaxes against him and kisses back.

It's rough and heated and _good_, and Joseph feels Caesar squeeze his ass and _fuck_. Joseph groans into his mouth, hands trailing up his neck and tugging at his hair. A desparate sound wrenches out of Caesar's throat, and he presses harder against Joseph, running his open palm up his back, the other hand gripping at his waist.

Joseph's senses are all overstimulated and full of Caesar, and _god_, he doesn't want this to end.

After a series of kisses and heated touches, it seems like Caesar has calmed down, slowing down to press chaste kisses on Joseph's lips and face. He lingers a moment on Joseph's temple, pressing a few more kisses there and bringing up his hand to gently rub a thumb against his other temple. Joseph's eyes drift shut at the action, humming low in his throat. As Caesar proceeds with his ministrations, Joseph trails his hands across Caesar's chest and shoulders, feeling the hard muscle there that he only _imagined_ at the diner.

They stay like that for ages more, just basking in each others presence, leaving small, fluttering kisses anywhere they can reach. It takes a long time before either of them say anything.

"So," Caesar begins, running his hand through Joseph's soft, dark hair while Joseph traces the birthmarks just below Caesar's eyes, "that's been in the air for a while."

Joseph scoffs. "You're telling me."

"I guess I should get straight to the point, then."

"I guess you should."

Caesar pauses, and Joseph stops tracing his birthmarks to cup his cheeks in his hands. It doesn't seem like he's going to start anytime soon, and honestly, Joseph just wants to get it out there once and for all. So he doesn't wait.

"I really like you, Caesar."

"I...really like you, too."

They don't really need to say much more. Joseph presses another kiss to Caesar's lips, addicted to the heady feeling it gives him.

Or maybe it's just the concussion, but he's sure that Caesar's helping at least a bit.


End file.
